The past 33 weeks have been a real eye opener for me. I have plenty of time to think about what I want for our daughter and what I want from myself as her mother.
I want above all for Abigail to know that she is loved and was thought about with love and joy from day one even if there were days I wondered how much longer can I endure the discomforts associated with pregnancy. Although, many times I have said I would go through everything ten times over just to be where I am today with her. Someone asked me yesterday, “Has your pregnancy gone by slowly or has it flown by?” I would have to say flown by even though there are times it seems to drag… maybe because I am so impatient to have her in my arms. They say to enjoy pregnancy, because it is a time frame you don’t ever get the chance to relive or get back. When Abigail is born there will be a whole new set of milestones to look forward to, but right now…I treasure those late night kicks (even if I wake up tired). I know I will miss the times that Brian and I sat and listened to her heart beating wildly, (like a stampede of galloping horses). We will miss the talking to her, reading to her, popping her little butt while in my womb just to get her to move or punch back. I cried the first time I felt her move and then I wanted to feel it all the time.
I am glad to know that my dad (her grandpa) will be there for her and calls me weekly to find out how I am doing, how his grandbaby is doing, how much longer before she gets here? It is way too cute. I am glad my mother (her grandma) is excited and calls to see if there is anything she can do for me, can she bring a meal or plant some flowers in my flower bed. I am glad and honored to know that her soon to be grandparents take such an interest in her and have long before we reached this stage of the game. I know that they will be active in her life and will want to do things with her. I am pleased to know that my daughter will have aunts, and uncles, and cousins that will love and care for her. That have prayed and wanted her here. I do know that Brian’s sister, Johnna will play a very active and loving role in Abigail’s life and I am very happy and grateful for that, as well. I must say it has been good to know that there are members of Brian’s extended family that call and want to be a part of her life, from both his dad and mom’s side. I know that my daughter will be well loved. And that means the most to me as a mother. It saddens me to think that Brian’s mom, Debra Charlynn isn’t here. I have only ever heard what a loving mom and wife she was, and how much she wanted grandchildren. I am sorry that I never got to meet her before marrying her son. Her children, (Brian and Johnna) have told me so much about her. Brian’s dad will be her pawpaw (grandpa). This is his first grandchild, his granddaughter, Abigail. I am hoping that there will be a bond between them.
I am her mother, the person that loved her, prayed for her, and wanted her with all of my heart. I am going to proctect her to the best of my ability. That is a mother’s job! And I take on my role has mother with love and with a passion that won’t be denied.
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3 comments:
Hannah, I wish that you could have known Aunt Debbie. I know that she would have thought the world of you, and she would be so excited about Abigail that she wouldn't be able to sit still.
I hope that Abigail inherits her paternal grandmother's love, creativity, and humor.
And I'll do my best to keep a straight face if your little one inherits any of the other dominant traits from our shared bloodline.
=D
Thank you so very much... this means the world to me. I also, wish I could have known her. I was recently told that Aunt Debbie always wanted red-headed grandbabies... Well, that wish could come true. My grandmother (my mom's mom) was carrot top red; I was born with read hair...it didn't last, and Brian's beard is redish.
Plus look at Uncle Dan's kids/grandkids. The red hair could happen...
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